Signs You May Be a Total Nerd

I have always been what I would describe as a “happy nerd”.  If you saw most of my school pictures from fourth through eighth grade, you would say, “Whoa,” and see my point.  I was a nerd in some way, shape, or form ever since I can remember.  However, despite my nerdiness, I always had a wide variety of friends, nerd and non-nerd.  I just did my thing, and if people liked it, they liked it; and if they didn’t, they most likely are working fast food right now as a career.  True story.

But be advised: there is a broad spectrum of nerdiness.  They come in all colors, shapes, and sizes.  You might be walking out the door every day wearing your new Missoni dress (that you didn’t buy from Target), but if you’re on your way to the local Comic Con to complete your collection of Star Trek captain’s autographs, well, then, you’re a nerd.


My point: there are lots of types of nerds, and they’re not always easily identifiable.  Here’s an easy checklist you can use to determine whether or not you (or a loved one) is walkin’ on the mild side: 

1.  You may or may not have a button on your coat that (attempts) to make a joke about how much you like footnotes.

2.  Any and all cash in your wallet is facing the same direction, and is organized by denomination (NOTE: if you have to ask whether or not it’s OK if any of the bills are folded or crinkled, just stop reading right now.).

3.  You have put serious thought into the ranking of your favorite Star Trek characters.

 Data is my #1.

4.  You were pretty pumped about the new George R. R. Martin book that just came out, and are watching the HBO series just to see what they’re going to leave out.

5.  You didn’t have to click on the links in #4 to know what I was talking about.

6.  Your books at home are organized following a specific organizational pattern, preferably Library of Congress, but Dewey is acceptable.  Also acceptable is simply author’s last name for fiction.  This, for obvious reasons, doesn’t work with non-fiction.  Obviously.

7.  The cans in your pantry are all facing out, so you can read the labels.  You placed them that way on purpose.

8.  You would let your phone bill lapse before you’d let your Internet bill lapse.

9.  It takes everything inside of you not to correct spelling and/or grammar errors wherever you see them — Facebook posts, the company newsletter, wedding invitations, billboards, etc.

10.  You have more than one college calling your house asking for alumni donations.

11.  When I say, “D12”, you know I’m not talking about the rap group.

                                               Top 40 Marketing 
They seem like the tabletop gaming type.

12.  You have began a story using the phrase “This one time, at band camp…” and you weren’t quoting that girl from American Pie.

13.  You have tried out to be a contestant on Jeopardy! at least once.

14.  You have found yourself at a store in the middle of the night to buy a fucking book.

15.  One of your children is named after a character in a major sci fi/fantasy series (TV, movie, or literary).


So take heart, fellow nerds/geeks/dorks/generally awkward people.  There’s a whole wide world of people out there that you probably thought were cool, but in reality are just as anxious to see how George Lucas has fucked up Star Wars in the latest re-release as you are.

                                                                                      Nerd Approved
 Because you know you did, dude.  You just…I’ll stop now.
This entry was posted in Bella, Game of Thrones, lists, nerd alert, Star Trek, Star Wars. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Signs You May Be a Total Nerd

  1. Brenna says:

    I feel the same way about spelling errors as I do about messy code. Last week I spent 50 minutes playing kerntype, a game where you, er, kern type. NERD ALERT.

  2. No…it couldn’t be….I couldn’t be a n.e.r.d….

    Okay, enough self denial, I can identify with so many points that you’ve made. I even played World of Warcraft for several years (after leaving Final Fantasy XI). I am a nerd, I know it.

  3. Janel says:

    I love you too, Molly.
    Brenna, I feel really like I should turn in my nerd card, because I had to google “kern type”. But then I played that game for about a half hour, so maybe I can hang on to it still.
    I haven’t dallied into the WoW world yet, but I am familiar enough with it to receive some kind of honorary credit, I think.

  4. Clare says:

    You are hilarious! Love your blog! And yes, all my money faces the same direction in my wallet… 🙂

  5. Glad to know I’m not alone 🙂

  6. How wonderful is it that being a nerd is now becoming cool? OCD has its perks, my friend.

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