Shenanigans Bella Managed to Pull During the Thirty Minute Wait for Phaedra’s Dance Class

1.  Walk into a room conducting testing for karate belts and start crawling under spectators’ chairs.

2.  Re-enter the same karate testing room two minutes later and lay down screaming and crying because I insist she leave.

3.  Climb halfway across a group of chairs stacked five feet high.

4.  Say “Merry Christmas, Mom!” and hug my leg when I get her down from the five-foot tower of chairs.

5.  Disappear for about ten minutes while I had the nerve to try to pay for Phaedra’s recital costume, leaving me to wander around the building frantically looking for her.

6.  Discover that the bitches also waiting for their kids who saw me walk past multiple times with the “where the hell is she?” look on my face didn’t bother to tell me she was just across the hall and up the stairs where the dance class was actually taking place.

7.  Engage me in a little Abbot & Costello-style game where I set Surrey down to go drag Bella back down the hall, then set her down to retrieve Surrey after she’s crawled down the hall, then drag Bella back down the hall…

8.  Lay down in the exercise bike room screaming “WAIT! WAIT! NOOOO MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

9.  Go into full meltdown mode, which causes me to lose my own shit in front of five other dance moms/bitches (as well as the staff, i.e. my husband’s coworkers) and finally decide that you know what?  I changed my mind!  I’m not really that concerned about whether or not you wear your coat to the car because WE’RE GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.

Can’t wait for next week!


This entry was posted in Bella, fuck those moms at dance class, high needs children, just please get a job and move out someday that's all I ask ladies, let's get this show on the road, one of these girls better get rich and famous, spirited children, temporary insanity. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Shenanigans Bella Managed to Pull During the Thirty Minute Wait for Phaedra’s Dance Class

  1. Arnebya says:

    The dance moms/bitches who didn’t say anything? I want to stand right beside them and sceam her name next time. RIGHT. BESIDE. THEM.

    • To be fair, I wasn’t terribly worried, because I knew she had to be somewhere. So I wasn’t shouting for her, but everyone knows that look. Isn’t that just basic Mom Code to give that mom a head’s up, or maybe look around from your seat? Geez.

  2. See, I’d have been full out “WHERE IS MY BABY!?” so there would be no chance of being ignored by dance moms.

    • I wasn’t too worried, because I knew she couldn’t get far; it’s a relatively small building without too many people around in the evening. Plus, she’s terrified of the automatic doors at the exit, and she was faaaaaaar too unpleasant for anyone to even consider kidnapping.

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