Autobiography

Me.

I’m Janel.  That’s a picture of me at a party.  I don’t normally look that nice, so this is kind of false advertising, but it’s my blog, and my bio page, so LAY OFF.

 I’m an academic librarian raising three beautiful little girls with my beardedly gifted husband. I write about surviving raising a princess, a spirited child, and the happiest redhead on Earth using as many curse words as possible.  I should probably stress that last part.  I curse a lot.  Not necessarily in real life, but in my writing, which means I get people who find my blog by Googling “puke on dick” and my cousin that works in a military hospital can’t read my blog at work because the government thinks it’s porn and blocks it.  I’m not sure either one of those things is necessarily bad, they’re just the facts of life when you can’t write a single post without using the word “fuck” at least three times.

The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Because magic words always come in threes, kids!

Phaedra (8) is my oldest daughter, meaning she is basically the resident test subject when it comes to parenting.  Bellatrix (6) is the middle child in every sense of that phrase, and is available for rental if you are interested in natural birth control.  Surrey (3) is our oops surprise baby.  She enjoys entertaining the entire family with her incredible dance moves, witty jokes, and insanely cute ways of pronouncing words.  She’s your typical sassy redhead.

TL;DR: I’m weird.  My husband’s weird.  My kids are weird.

Enjoy.

17 Responses to Autobiography

  1. Jennifer says:

    I just started reading your wonderful blog. I look forward to reading past and future posts. I am raising 2 girls and feel like I can relate to you way too much. In this razy world, it’s nice to know that there are odd bits of stardust out there like me! Keep up the great writing!

  2. monica says:

    i just found your blog from the blogher sidebar and damnit if i am not going to have to stalk you now (because i need another funny blog to read in my spare time). you are a crack up and as evidenced by “hold me closer tiny burger” a most likely awesome mom. i look forward to future readings. 😀

  3. Sarah says:

    I just found your blog and I love it. I have four girls that I’m surviving. Honesty in mothering is a rare thing. The cussing is a selling point for me. I didn’t cuss often when I had one or two kids. I think it started when I got pregnant with the third and now, well, my 2yr old just said “fucking milk” the other day. I might need to cut back a bit : )

    • LOL! “Surviving” is definitely the key word in that sentence, because that’s all you’re doing some days! I read somewhere that swearing actually helps people feel better when angry, so really, we’re just self-medicating. Also, your 2yo used “fucking” correctly, so kudos to you! Glad you’re enjoying this weird little blog so far, hope you stick around!

  4. TNMom says:

    Hi lady! I am new here cause the awesome Kim over at ‘let me start by saying’ shared your vagina post – YAY! I am mommy to two little girls and am loving what I am reading. Glad to have found you! <3 Devan

  5. Just found your blog and so glad I did! Former research librarian here, mom to two, blogger and also fond lover of four-letter words. Can’t wait to read more!

  6. smeggers72 says:

    janel you are a gifted story teller. you…much like debbie can find humor in everyday life and it has been a joy to ready both of you through the past several years. my love to you and your little trio.

  7. Rachel says:

    Just stumbled across your blog through a link to your review of Baby Sideburns (which I love to read) and simply by reading your autobiography I know we are going to be best friends forever. We are already, I can tell. I am a librarian too (though at a public library with lots of mentally ill customers) and fuckin-a I like your review. And children’s names. And and – teeheehee, still laughing. I have a child for loaner as well. Don’t we all….

  8. Jamie says:

    Started reading your blog because you are a librarian. I also work at a library. Wherever I started reading it said you were sitting at work on FB… that’s totally what I was doing too! That and stalking people on their blogs. Thanks for the laughs! 🙂

  9. Tammi Ruselowski says:

    Funny bio. I look forward to reading your works in the future!

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