How to Get Your Kid Dressed to Go Outside and Play in the Snow in 22 Easy Steps!

1.  Work up the ambition to begin getting your kid bundled up.

2.  Dig out a pair of boots from the mountain of shoes.

3.  Pour out the hard plastic toys shoved inside each boot by your jerkiest kid.

4.  Remove the last pair of socks from the toe of each boot.

5.  Force your kid’s foot halfway into each boot and hope their body weight will be enough to shove their foot in the rest of the way.

6.  Zip up the boots.

7.  Unzip the boots when the zipper gets stuck halfway and re-zip the boots.

8.  Hold out coat so child can slip their arms into the wrong sleeves.

9.  Remove coat and hold it so child can only put arms into correct sleeves.

10.  Remove coat again when child puts left arm in right sleeve AGAIN.

11.  Finally get coat on child.

12.  Zip up coat.

13.  Listen to child warn you not to catch their skin in the top of the zipper like you did three years ago.

14.  Dig through the hat and glove box to find two matching gloves.

15.  Dig through the hat and glove box again to find the rainbow gloves, which must be somehow warmer than the pink striped gloves you found first.

16.  Ask child if they want to wear a hat.

17.  Ask child if they are sure they don’t want a hat.

18.  Open door and let child out to frolic in the snow.

19.  Enjoy the sight of your child playing in the pristine snow, and the golden silence of the house.

20.  Open door again two minutes later to let child inside because “it’s cold outside!”

21.  Prepare hot chocolate as instructed by child.

22.  Wear cold, wet socks the rest of the day after stepping in melted snow tracked all over the house.

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8 Responses to How to Get Your Kid Dressed to Go Outside and Play in the Snow in 22 Easy Steps!

  1. This is 100% accurate, except for my older children who can plainly see it’s cold outside from the comfort of 2″ away from a video game, no matter how much I insist that -17 really isn’t so bad and to GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.

  2. At least you found matching gloves! In our house, we usually get halfway through the process and then realize one or all of the kids has left important items like boots at school, and then we spend just as much time getting out of said winter apparel. Still, for the minute or two that they’re bundled up in winter gear and unable to hit each other is worth it.

  3. Meg Bucaro says:

    Hilarious and 100% accurate! At least we all know we are not alone!

  4. monica says:

    we live in south texas. no snow – only the remote chance of it (for which we do insanely stupid things like cancel school). but this made me laugh because if it DID snow – my life would be this.

  5. Deana says:

    There would be one more step added in my house because after getting them bundled they would suddenly need to pee…. Needing to repeat more steps after taking it all off lol

  6. chickadee says:

    My children, miraculously, got older and now dress themselves from head to toe – INCLUDING SNOWPANTS – and ask if they can go outside to play in the snow! I am grateful, so grateful, for this miracle. Hang in there, everyone who isn’t there yet. It will come to pass 🙂

  7. This is perfect for today. Perfect.

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