1. Work up the ambition to begin getting your kid bundled up.
2. Dig out a pair of boots from the mountain of shoes.
3. Pour out the hard plastic toys shoved inside each boot by your jerkiest kid.
4. Remove the last pair of socks from the toe of each boot.
5. Force your kid’s foot halfway into each boot and hope their body weight will be enough to shove their foot in the rest of the way.
6. Zip up the boots.
7. Unzip the boots when the zipper gets stuck halfway and re-zip the boots.
8. Hold out coat so child can slip their arms into the wrong sleeves.
9. Remove coat and hold it so child can only put arms into correct sleeves.
10. Remove coat again when child puts left arm in right sleeve AGAIN.
11. Finally get coat on child.
12. Zip up coat.
13. Listen to child warn you not to catch their skin in the top of the zipper like you did three years ago.
14. Dig through the hat and glove box to find two matching gloves.
15. Dig through the hat and glove box again to find the rainbow gloves, which must be somehow warmer than the pink striped gloves you found first.
16. Ask child if they want to wear a hat.
17. Ask child if they are sure they don’t want a hat.
18. Open door and let child out to frolic in the snow.
19. Enjoy the sight of your child playing in the pristine snow, and the golden silence of the house.
20. Open door again two minutes later to let child inside because “it’s cold outside!”
21. Prepare hot chocolate as instructed by child.
22. Wear cold, wet socks the rest of the day after stepping in melted snow tracked all over the house.