Category Archives: where’s the off switch

A Letter to My Neighbors, Now That My Windows Are Open

Dear Neighbors, Welcome back!  Once again, it’s summertime here in Michigan, and the temperatures will soon begin to climb.  You might remember that we, your favorite neighbors (HAHAHAHAHAHA) do not have air conditioning and will have every window in our house … Continue reading

Posted in Awkward, Controlled vocabulary, lists, posts that CPS won't think are funny, sarcasm, temporary insanity, where's the off switch | 36 Comments

Reasons Why Phaedra Woke Up and Needs to Sleep in Our Bed

1.  “I had a bad dream!” 2.  “I can’t sleep!” 3.  “I don’t know what to do about the picture taped above my bed that keeps falling down!” 4.  “I feel bad about myself.” [Translation: this is her weird way … Continue reading

Posted in famous last words, lists, Phaedra, sleep (or lack thereof), things that don't make sense, what dude?, where's the off switch | 12 Comments

Night Moves

It is 3:59 a.m.  I have to get up for work at 7:30 a.m.  I would like to be asleep in my bed right now, snuggled up with my two month old baby that sleeps straight through the majority of … Continue reading

Posted in Bella, Debbie Downer, fun ways to experience what it must be like to be a zombie without actually being dead, Joan Crawford parenting, sleep (or lack thereof), where's the off switch | 12 Comments

24 Hour Party People

Nothing is more humbling in parenthood than this simple fact: You cannot force your kids to sleep. There are lots of things you can physically force your kids to do, like take baths and get dressed (both things I had to physically force … Continue reading

Posted in fun ways to experience what it must be like to be a zombie without actually being dead, Joan Crawford parenting, one of these girls better get rich and famous, temporary insanity, where's the off switch | 3 Comments