Category Archives: one of these girls better get rich and famous

Shenanigans Bella Managed to Pull During the Thirty Minute Wait for Phaedra’s Dance Class

1.  Walk into a room conducting testing for karate belts and start crawling under spectators’ chairs. 2.  Re-enter the same karate testing room two minutes later and lay down screaming and crying because I insist she leave. 3.  Climb halfway … Continue reading

Posted in Bella, fuck those moms at dance class, high needs children, just please get a job and move out someday that's all I ask ladies, let's get this show on the road, one of these girls better get rich and famous, spirited children, temporary insanity | 4 Comments

Taking Three Children to the Grocery Store on Your Day Off: The Stages of Grief

9:00 am: Denial Oh goddamnit, the grocery store.  I forgot about the grocery store.  Hey, you know what?  Fuuuuuuuuuck that.  I’m not going today.  I’m tired and it’s my day off.  I’m seriously not going anywhere today.  Just gonna stay home … Continue reading

Posted in ambivalence, bad ideas, famous last words, more than two kids, one of these girls better get rich and famous, professional slacker | 21 Comments

A New Hope

As I round the corner on baby Surrey’s first year and say goodbye to the baby days for good, I want to take a moment to speak directly to my brothers- and sisters-in-arms that are currently slogging through the baby … Continue reading

Posted in don't be jealous, just please get a job and move out someday that's all I ask ladies, obscure classic rock references, one of these girls better get rich and famous, where did my baby go? | 7 Comments

Things I Have Actually Said to Bellatrix*

*her “in trouble” name. 1.  “Where’s the poop, Bellatrix?”2.  “We don’t drink toilet water!”3.  “Why are you naked?”4.  “Stop grabbing the dog’s penis!”5.  “We don’t dip our toys in our milk.”6.  “Please don’t pinch my fat rolls.”7.  “Yogurt is for … Continue reading

Posted in Bella, high needs children, lists, one of these girls better get rich and famous, spirited children, super gross out | 5 Comments

1+1 = WHAT THE F*** WAS I THINKING

So, this is going to be the easiest post I’ve ever written, because I actually wrote it awhile ago!  My awesome friend Nicole of Much Love, Nicole asked me to write a guest post for her blog.  Sadly, she gave up … Continue reading

Posted in babies, Baby fever, just please get a job and move out someday that's all I ask ladies, one of these girls better get rich and famous | Leave a comment

24 Hour Party People

Nothing is more humbling in parenthood than this simple fact: You cannot force your kids to sleep. There are lots of things you can physically force your kids to do, like take baths and get dressed (both things I had to physically force … Continue reading

Posted in fun ways to experience what it must be like to be a zombie without actually being dead, Joan Crawford parenting, one of these girls better get rich and famous, temporary insanity, where's the off switch | 3 Comments