Bathtime Conversations

Phaedra: Mom, how did you get Baby Surrey?

Uh oh.

Me: What do you mean, honey?

Phaedra: I mean, how did you get Baby Surrey?  How did you get her in your tummy?

Shit.

Me (quickly calculating how much information she can handle vs. how much I’m willing to actually give out): Well, mommies and daddies do something very special together, and that sometimes makes a baby in the mommy’s tummy.

Silence.

Me: Does that answer your question?  (Please God say yes).

Phaedra: No.

Shit.

Me: Well, what do you want to know, honey?

Phaedra: Well…

Me: Do you mean how did she get in my tummy if she’s so big?  Because babies don’t start out as big as Baby Surrey is now.  They start off really, really tiny.  Like, so tiny you can’t even see them.  You know the sand in your sandbox, how it’s made out of really, really, reallyreallyreally teeny tiny pieces?  Smaller than that.  Like the crumbs you get when you eat cookies.

Phaedra: Yeah! I always eat the crumbs when I eat.

Me: I know.  Babies are that small when they start growing in mommy’s tummies, and they grow bigger and bigger.  It takes awhile for them to grow; that’s why we have to wait so long to meet Baby Surrey. 

Silence.

Me: Does THAT answer your question?

Phaedra: No.

SHIT.

Me (mentally biting the bullet): Well, what exactly is it you want to know?

Phaedra: Um……….well…………I want to know about checkers.

Checkers, courtesy of Steve Snodgrass via flickr

Holy moly, kid.

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2 Responses to Bathtime Conversations

  1. Obviously she wants to know about checkers. Duh.

  2. Pingback: Biology for Non-Scientists » 649.133

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